A Story of Lost Friendship

When I was younger, I had tons and tons of pen-pals. Some of them became real life friends. In middle school, I started writing letters with a girl named Dana. She lived in Ann Arbor and I lived in Cleveland. We had the opportunity to meet since we didn't live too far from each other. Her mom drove her to my family's house to visit for a few days, and I would go spend time with her family also. We had the chance to do that several times as teens. And we would write each other 15-20 page letters, all the time.

In adulthood, we became very close friends. I moved to Texas, but I'd fly up to Michigan and spend whole weeks at her house. We helped each other through some tough times. Her boyfriend was killed in a water skiing accident. It was a terrible tragedy, and I was glad that I could be there for her... and we would go to the mausoleum together. She said none of her other friends knew what to say or do, and she appreciated my willingness to go with her to visit his grave. It was hard for her to go alone.

And then I went through my divorce. I spent a lot of time visiting her during those long months during/after my divorce. During one of those visits, I was pretty lost, and caught up in my own thoughts. And she got mad. Said I wasn't any fun. Resented that I sat around and moped. We got into a huge fight, yelling and screaming and crying (well, I cried)... and I had gone out onto her back deck, and she locked me out of her house. And she drove off.

I ended up calling her mom to ask if she could please let me back inside the house. I was supposed to stay for a couple more days, but I changed my flight... I packed up my stuff and called a cab and flew back to Texas. We didn't talk for a while, but we did eventually talk again. And I ended up moving to Ann Arbor... for a job... but the whole reason I looked for a job in Ann Arbor was because of Dana.

Things were never really the same between us, even though we now lived 10 minutes from each other. Other complications arose due to relationships we were in with new loves (long story), and when I asked her to be in my wedding, she said no. And that was that. We never spoke again. It's now been 11 years since I've talked to or seen her. Before that, we were friends for 23 years.

I don't miss her anymore, but I do still think about her from time to time. Weird how life is. To think I moved here because of our friendship, and started a whole new life here... that she wasn't part of for very long. So now when people ask what brought me to Michigan, I just say it was for work... I leave out the part about Dana.